Sunday, August 14, 2011

Something fishy is going on...

What your about to read is all true. The locations, time, and people have NOT been changed due to the fact on how horrible this date was. Therefore it needs to be told with every detail.

Story goes as follows:
It was a blind double date. Already with that being said, it was bound for failure...and it was.

A good friend of my mine at the time was asked out on a date, and she accepted. She wasn't completely "thrilled" about the date, so she suggested that I tag along as a double date and for him to bring a friend. Let's call her date..."Girly car." Pretty explanatory, he had a woman car. A car were you would think a very girly girl would drive, except this poor vehicle was occupied with an ordinary guy with a very strange laugh.

Phase 1 of the date:
We met up with the two boys at Yogurtland for a sweet treat before we went out for some late night sushi. If you personally know me, you would know how much I freaking LOVE sushi. It's my favorite. Also, who gets dessert before dinner? Totally backwards, and it was stupid. That should have been Red Flag #1. (Note to future date who may be reading this, take me out for sushi, and you just gained a 39.7% chance of getting a kiss at the end of the night. Chances aren't high, but still a chance none the less.)

Phase 2:
First off for the record and also because this person was so rude I honestly don't care, you were about a 6 on the hottie scale and that is being generous.
This is when things begin to go south... so my date "Sesame Street" had a very nice bike....it was sexy(Also, that's why I gave you a 6 jerk.) He just took off on it to the restaurant, which meant that I had to sit in the back seat with my friend and "Girly Car." Don't mind me just awkwardly sitting back here pretending to be Casper.

Phase 3:
We went to Stingray, which is a fairly nice sushi restaurant and I was super excited to get me some food since I starved myself because I knew we were going out for sushi. If anyone has been to Stingray and closely paid attention to the signs that say "Please be considerate of others and not be on your phone inside the restaurant." So we get seated, order drinks and our rolls. I kept it simple and not pricey, just ordering a Spicy Tuna Roll and a Vegas Roll. Uhh...this is when things go horrible. So as soon as our food arrives my phone rings, and it was a lawyer  I had been in contact with, so I polity excused myself from the table saying it was an important call and went outside to take it. I was probably out there for like 15 minutes. When I got back my plate was empty with just the ginger and wasabi left. Uhh WTF? Where did my delicious rolls go that I have been thinking about all day long?? I asked what happened and "Sesame Street" said he ate it. HE ATE MY DINNER!!! Who do you think you are Sesame Street?! You just turned into freaking Cookie Monster and ate everything in site! I was mad. Who eats their dates meal???

Phase 4:
Stupid "Girly Car" jokingly tells Cookie Monster to eat a huge ball of wasabi. Cookie Monster being the childish boy he is, and because he was apparently starving for more food, he ate it. I laughed hysterically when he started to choke and ran to the bathroom. I'm pretty sure he threw up. I hope that Spicy Tuna Roll came up extra hot jerk.

Phase 5:
The bill comes, and he wants me to split it with him. I gave him the look of death and said no, I only had a glass of water because someone was incredibly rude and decided to eat my meal...Piss off, your paying.

Again awkward drive home in the backseat. Please, don't mind my stomach eating itself as its gurgling in the back. Thanks a bunch "Girly Car" for your stupid friend who was acting like a starving Ethiopian child.

The Good: Watching someone suffer from eating wasabi...you deserved it.

The Bad: YOUR DATE EATING YOUR MEAL. WHO DOES THAT????

The Dirty: The fact that "Sesame Street" was able to eat 5 rolls in less than 15 minutes (He ordered 3, don't be so quick to judge me.) is gross. Is that even humanly possible to shove that much sushi down your gullet?

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