I didn't know it was Halloween.

Whoever said that vampires were sexy LIED! 

So typical Sunday at church, just doing my thing in Gospel Doctrine & Edward Cullen sits next to me. Not actually Robert Pattinson, let's get real if this was the Edward I would've had a panic attack. But he was close enough to the real deal, & that sealed it for me. Tall, not really pale, suave hair, tailored suit. I know what your thinkin', this guy has got it together. I was thinking the same thing! Back to the story... Anyways Cullen & I shared scriptures, then talked after class. It was a very magical Gospel Doctrine class...I wish I could tell you it was because of the Spirit, but my mind was going at a thousand miles an hour because Cullen was giving me butterflies. He asked for my number & I obviously gave it to him. Mr. Beautiful called me the next day, & the date was set. I was literally counting down the days til the weekend because the man that was "sparkling" in my eyes was about to take me out. When Friday finally rolled around I was primped and ready to go. 

DATE #1

He took me out to this dance studio where we learned how to ballroom dance. It was a lot of fun! Then later we got ice cream and walked around this pond at moonlight. Aww so romantic. Cullen took me home, gave me the long hug at the door, then followed up with the text. Girls, you know what I'm talking about...the text that says "I had a really good time tonight with you. :) Hopefully I get to see you again." Adorable...

DATE #2

Dinner and a movie. Simple. Sweet. Sugar coated with an innocent kiss at the door. 

At this point you are currently thinking, "McKenna, this guy seems great, whats wrong with you?" FALSE!!! Wait til date #3 and then you will change your mind.

DATE #3

Cullen said he was going to surprise me that evening, so when he picked me up I was blindfolded & taken to an unidenified location. Then he guided me out of his freshly washed new Camry while holding my hand & telling me to watch my step. The blindfold came off & we were by some sort of lake/pond/large body of water thing literally in the middle of no where. He had candles set up & music was being played, the song that we had learned how to dance to on date #1. So we danced under the moonlight, it was a tender moment. Then Edward went in for the kill. He kissed me...and then began a little makeout session. Nothing more, nothing less. Then about 25 seconds into it, he bit me. Yes, you are reading this correctly. HE BIT ME. Not a sexy nibble, like actually began biting my neck. I then began to think that vampires were real, & then thought no one knows where I am at...matter of fact I don't even know where I am out. Maybe he is going to kill me via fang tooth. I put an immediate stop to the kissing. So we sat down, talked about life, and then he did it again!!! He kissed me & out came the teeth. It was painful, not playful. I was so ready to go home.

NEXT MORNING

I had bruises from Mr.Fangs. It was so bad that people were asking me if I was attacked by some sort of baby bear who was gnawing on my neck. I didn't see him for a week, even though I wanted to show him what he did to my poor innocent neck. Thus began the thought of maybe he was in a weird mood and was hungry for my flesh?? Idk!? He was too sexy to pass up, so then I went on another date.

DATE #4

I kind of liked Edward, however I had already made up in my mind that if he was going to bite me again then I wasn't going to see him anymore. I took him out, & it was really fun until he decided to become a shark & rip my face off with his mouth. Just sounds gross...& it was. So I told him that I just didn't see that much chemistry between us & ended it with Edward. Those butterflies that were fluttering around before, yeah...they flew into a glass wall & died instantly.

How come it has to be the sexy guy to have this weird biting fetish/habit!?! For all that is good and holy in the world, send me a normal man!! 

The Good: Cute dates that have some thought behind them. 

The Bad: Having to worry if your going to be murdered.

The Dirty: Sinking your teeth into someone...Maybe I should've ate garlic to keep him away.